AidahBurne
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I am going to start today's post with no song lyrics, or quoatation from anybody. A little change, i guess. There's a drastic change in the books i read though. I somehow, no longer borrow books from the library spontaneously, i planned what i want to read. Then i reserve it. Of course, this has been going on since a year and half ago. And then, today i realised that, hell, i am no longer reading fictitious book. Instead, my dictionary has been a very good company for the past month. The way i sit cross-legged on my bed and perused the book as though it's a holy quraan that i have to know. I find it highly entertaining, reading the dictionary. I learned a lot of new vocab. Today i learned that philantropy is the exact opposite of misantropy. Preety cool, huh? Im halfway to completing the "P"s in my dictionary. And, i was quite amused and proud as i have found the meaning behind the name "Harry Potter" Harry- harass. Potter- work on trivial task in a leisurely way. Now, to me his name means someone who enjoys harrasing and leisurely works on trivial task. Ahh anyway, as i've said, i wanted to speak about dependency.. Though i think, some of the original ideas have fled my mind. Now, has it ever occurred to you all, about your state of depency? I mean, who can you trust to depend on? Your family? Your friends? Friends, "i've got your back". sound familiar? I've said it before, i think that person knows who. And yeah, im not having doubts about it. However, when someone said "I've got your back, don't worry", how far do they really mean it? Can you really depend on them or would they fled on the first sign of trouble and danger? And then again, you have to trust them, don't you? So that you would have their trust in return and that they feel, for the lack of better word, secure as they "got your back". I'm not trying to ridicule people, who said to their friends that they can depend on them, after all, i've mention i've said it before. For all you know, there are people out there, who would really guard you, help you and protect you. The one million question is how far would they go to do all that to you? Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Isn't it? Perhaps one day, i could prove it wrong. Family, apparently, they are more problematic. Aside from your parents, who else can you depend on? As you grow up, are your bonds with your siblings still strong? Or do you just seek them in time of troubles, or do you see them during festivities or family gatherings? Haven't you all realised, your extended family are sometimes, sorry for the harsh words, just full of CRAP? What's with their petty gossips, competiting with who's got more money, who's children are more clever? Who has higher status, who's got more gold? What the flying fuck, honestly? I ask now, can you depend on them, when they're all smiles and laughters infront but knife and dagger in their left hand? Can you? Yes, you maybe close to your siblings, but from my point of view as a teenager who has ears and eyes, who can hear and see, who can judge, who can understand tension when she's in a room feeling like she might suffocate to death, your bond don't stand much chance compared to blind envy. So, i really hope that when i grow up, me, syirah, syimir and izzul, would still be close although when we're married (*glancing around*) we would put our family first. That i could somehow depend on them. Hopefully. Okay, aside from extended family, your parents, my grandparents, dang dang, i know somehow i could depend on them. Somehow, i really do, without doubt. I don't know why. But seeing as i am me. I have problems trusting people and i always tell myself, it's safer to just depend on yourself and not too much on others. afterall at the end of the day, you are all that matters? Right? I am self centred? Spare me the details. We all are, one way or the other. i made a move at 9:14 PM
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illuminator
Aidah Burne I'm staying here until you make me move |
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