AidahBurne
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Friday, December 19, 2008
rest I am drained. I lost the fire inside me. I'm emotionally, physically and mentally tired. All i want to do today, is to sit at home, rest & die. (maybe not die) There are certain point in your life where you stop short & reflect about your life. The good things the bad things, the future. i don't even know if i'm happy. sometimes, i feel utterly miserable & its killing me inside cause i cannot ever say it. I want to, but i stopped myself before i start hurting. (other people, i mean) it sucks. it sucks having to keep things to yourself. (& it sucks even more knowing Keanu Reeeves name on the day the earth stood still is Klaatu & he's an alien. AN ALIEN! Like its not bad enough zachary quinto plays Spock the alien in Star Trek!) i feel like today is the day to wallow in self pity. mygod. maybe this is my penitent for something wrong i've done. (my drama not bad, huh?) & i think im paranoid up to the point of being crazy. i think i have an undiagnosed personality disorder. since, liying has made it public, there's no point hiding it anymore, its not normal to be talking to inanimate objects. i am crazy! i wanted to actually write down how i feel but i realised that i dont know how. dont know how to begin. i should start with that person. the person im most miserable with & happy at the same time. all things thrown together. maybe la, since lets face it, im too tired to even deal with my emotions. ive just told ferhan im miserable & he quoted twilight for me. is it not enough to just live a long and happy life, he asked. to say the least, i'm speechless. the only thing that does not make me feel horrible is my wallpaper. carlisle, darling. ahhhh. i was too tired to go for company law meeting. i am so sorry, people. why can't someone tell me 'come to me & rest' like the song. i made a move at 1:26 PM
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illuminator
Aidah Burne I'm staying here until you make me move |
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