AidahBurne
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Monday, January 26, 2009
to get life.. it's difficult living like this. i dont know if its even right to be feeling like this everytime. i hate pain. i have a phobia of sharp objects & therefore, i have a phobia of physical pain. but now, i'd rather have it than this dull heart ache in my heart. emotions are a hassle. if there's just a way to sort it out.. waduuh pusing. i want things to be different. funny, how everyone seems to be saying this. now i've fallen into the category of normal people. ugggh you say i don't try hard enough. but how enough is enough? i thought i was being nice doing all those things for you. i dont know but maybe it's just me that feels like i went out of my way to make you happy only to be treated like this. who needs to take pity on who now, you tell me? its okay. i don't want it. when i want pity i'll do pity. like give a bloody pitiful sick face until the doctor offered to give me an MC. now, that's love. & that story i wrote two days ago, i hate it. i hate it cause now, it seems like my life & the story is becoming one. & so, im not even going to continue it. what if it comes true? the only part i want it to come true is if i, like the girl, can fly off to amsterdam & disappear for 18 months. i, like the girl, can make a guy missed her so much its killing him inside. where did my psychotic sadistic self go? its so much easier being her. i don't get you. you don't get me. i don't get us. life's a big joke, and guess what? idontgetit. have a good day. maybe yours will turn out good. I WANT MY FUCKING JIGSAW PUZZLE BACK, GWIN! & i'm craving for coffeebean. i made a move at 3:02 PM
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illuminator
Aidah Burne I'm staying here until you make me move |
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