oh, hotdamn =)))

how do i even begin to tell everything that has happened since the past few days?
how do i even begin to tell you how i tethered at the edge of a cliff not knowing whether to save myself or give the other person a chance to live or to make a decision to sacrife him to the treacherous water in a stormy sea?

how do i explain to you that i wanted to save myself, that i don't want to hurt anymore.
because i can't hold on any longer, or we'll both fall. we'll both die; swallowed like the countless other victims by the storm.

how am i supposed to tell you that i'm a selfish creature?
how am i supposed to put up a brave front and pretend this is easy & it doesnt hurt, that it doesn't matter the fact that i'm about to let you go, so i can live?

& how did we come to this?
we're falling apart at the seams.
i don't remember. do you?

:::::::::::::::::::::

okay, 5 points for being emo, aidah.
nice not my story? you all can stop lying and tell me it sucks, though.

so, anyway, after a very strenous night/day yesterday, today was a total opposit in comparison.
we were supposed to catch Mall Cop at 3 but Ferhan only reached my house at 3. there goes the plan.

intheend, he ended up playing mafia wars, while i watched cintafitri on sensasi before we decided to go ehub and catch Fast & Furious 4. =))

it's wonderful, really =))
& paul walker looked so much better compared to the previous two!
the storyline was a bit confusing in the middle of the movie but it was good.

i would have enjoyed it so much more if i hadn't had gastric pain coupled with a raging fever in the middle of the movie theatre.

we went coffeebean where ive got myself a handful of 50 cents coins amounting to $10. thankyou, Ferhan. now, i shall just get myself employed at the nearest money changer outlet. the walk home was cool too. i cant remember the last time we walk together at night.

& OH! ive finished Handle with Care. it's awesomeawesome!
if you're a Jodi Picoult fan, you should go read it. really. there's gonna be a movie adaptation for My Sister's Keeper =)) & although despite the fact that other people cried buckets reading that & i dont at all, i cant wait for it.

i think i've talked too much.
g'night. =)

what a tangled web we weave when first we practised to deceive
-sands of sakkara.