i wore my Senses Fail band shirt to school today & i go through my day in a daze.

i think my senses really did fail. i nearly took the wrong toothbrush, use the wrong shampoo (good thing i never wear someone else's bra...) stood at the bus stop trying to think what's the bus number im supposed to actually take. safe to say, im very disoriented.

i got submission to do today.

like file my defence, the F&BP & of course MLOCT.

i go to school very unprepared.

i sat in class trying hard to learn about Discovery of documents.

i realized i don't need to know about this discovery. i already know all i need to know about discovery. it sucks to discover the ground you've been standing on all these while is just an illusion.

i spend 3 hours of lab at Yahoo Answer trying to dispel this depression by reading about other people's depression. so what if i find some sort of comfort and joy at other people's misery? does that make me horrible? in any case, a 16 year old don't know what to do when she heard her parents having sex and asked for help from yahoo-ians. a 15 year old wants to have sex with his girlfriend and ask for the best place to do it. go get a driving license first, boy.

my civ pro tutor is very attentive apparently.

he asked if im okay cause i don't look happy & i don't know what to answer, so Aishah went "it's monday." haha, awesome answer.

i had a good time at coffee bean .

i think the cottage cheesecake is very nice.

it has this cool spicy (orangey) aftertaste.

& i don't feel anything. i just feel betrayed.

i feel numb. i don't feel sad. i don't even feel the anger that is supposed to be there.

i think im in a horrible state of shock (yes like the band!) that i just shut down (okay so now, im like a computer. next, my hard drive ie my mind is gonna crash).

my limewire has been giving me problems.

so, now you also want to act hot & cold with me?

limewire, that's not very nice.

you know, i don't deserve all this.

i really don't. i don't know what you were thinking. maybe you weren't at all.

to think i was actually feeling sympathetic when you told me whatever 'she' did to you... what was i thinking? oh maybe i wasn't, yes.

i feel stupid.

i feel beyond idiotic. (HEY! i haven't use any vulgarities yet! wee.)

you say im smart, i think you're smarter. you're a true master at the art of deception, right?

you had no idea how your words and your actions and your lies could actually affect someone?(AHA! finally the anger is here! i do feel after all!)

i think this has been one very long unorganized post.

till i can actually gather my thoughts, i'll bid you all goodnight.